One day God called to Satan to mock him, "So, how's it going down there in Hell?"
Satan replied, "Hey, things are great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."God was surprised, "What? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake. He should never have gotten down there in the first place. Send him back up here."
"No way," replied Satan. "I like having an engineer, and I'm keeping him."
God threatened, "Send him back up here now or I'll sue!"
Satan laughed and answered, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ An elderly man in North Maine had owned a large farm for several years.He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nice; picnic tables, horseshoecourts, and some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped andfixed up for swimming.
One evening the old man decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't beenthere for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.
As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. Ashe came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny dipping in his pond.
He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"
The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watchyou ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked. Holding thebucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator."
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